Have you ever gone to introduce yourself and forgotten your name? I know a lot of you will laugh at that idea, but there will be a few, probably other moms, who just went "eff, yeah I do that".
It occurred to me the other day that in the past 2 plus years, I have gone by "mommy" more than my given name. My husband called to me using my name rather than the normal, honey, or mama when the kids are around. It honestly took me a second to realize who he was talking to.
This got me thinking, have I begun losing "me" and replacing it with "mommy me"?
Let me start by saying I LOVE every second of being a mom. There is nothing I would rather do than be mommy, and I am exceedingly lucky to be able to stay home with my guys and be just that. However, there is a part of me that would like to hold onto my identity that isn't attached to my children. My kids won't always be little and as mommy needy as they are right now, so I take time to savor the moments I have with them, but still think about the future. I don't want to get to the point where they are out, doing things, living life and I am trying to figure out my place.
I wonder how many other parents feel that way. Parenting take such a commitment, as it should, and you really throw yourself fully into it, but how do you hold onto those pieces of your "youness" so that when you aren't chasing a toddler around, you know how to function?
I have started really thinking about who I am as a person, not just as a parent or a wife, daughter, sister etc, but as an individual. What are the things I want to accomplish, what are my goals, and dreams. All of those other parts of who I am help shape me, and I am so glad for it.
I realize those thoughts are rather heavy for a Friday night, sorry crew. When I started this blog, I wanted it to be as real as possible and that is what I am really thinking about. Don't worry, it's not as dreary as it sounds, more just figuring out how to balance all of the parts of my life.
I am interested, what are some things that others do just for yourself? Just to hold onto who you are and are things you love or are passionate about? I have a bunch of projects in the works that I am so excited about, and they are really helping me maintain my ownness. Pretty sure I have made up a few words here tonight. It's cool, G does it all the time. So if it's good enough for the toddler, then it's good enough for me ;)
Let me start with a disclaimer, I don't have my own car, I do this because it limits my options.
ReplyDeleteI don't do anything of any significance. I do things to unwind, like take hot bubble baths and sip red wine, meditate, browse pinterest and houzz for hours dreaming of decorating each room to detail, I occasionally sit on my deck with a book and if I'm REALLY lucky I will get to sit there uninterrupted for a full five minutes, but I dont do anything that's just me, for myself. I've gone out a handful of times since my kids were born, I've even stumbled home slurring words (my sister drove me), but honestly even that didn't feel like I was doing something for me. I come close when I sit around a bonfire with friends drinking a beer or two, I come close when I throw the windows open on a rainy morning and blast 90's country while cleaning, but I don't feel completely like myself even then. The only thing I can think of that I do just for me, is laughing with T...because he was there first and he knows how to make me feel alive.